Thursday, 28 March 2013

Posted by Jack Black | File under : , ,
Red carpet events draw celebrities of every stripe, and their lavish costumes, over the top get-ups and gorgeous gowns draw comment from every corner. For every smiling glamour girl in a tasteful frock there is a failed fashionista in a vulgar outfit borrowed from Martians. And who's been raiding wayward, Martian closets? It's clearly the singers of the world failing their out of this world looks more often than the actors, and I've a few theories as to why this is:

Actors do all their work close up

Movies are shot on a far more intimate scale than stage performance. Outfits don't need to be flamboyant when you are impressing a camera six feet away and not an audience member in a far flung stadium seat. This naturally leads to, well, let's just say it, better judgement when it comes to dressing one's self. Not that actors never fluff a line, but they are less likely to look like thrift store refugees and space aliens.

Lady Gaga is off limits

First of all, let's leave the Gaga out of this. She might not quite be the seething, massive deal that she used to be, but anybody who wears a dress made of meat is beyond mortal judgement. She functions on a weird alien plane far above wherever the rest of us are.

Entertainers are up on stage

Do an image search for Nicki Minaj. Go ahead, I'll wait. How many of those outfits looked good? On the street? On the red carpet? What's missing? It's 10,000 watt lights and a similar number of screaming fans. These outfits make perfect sense on a custom stage while your belting out your tunes to thousands of fans singing the songs back to you. They make far less sense in front of a couple dozen photographers and even less sense sitting in a chair applauding.

Actors tend to be a little older

The world of multi-platinum records has increasingly been a young man's and woman's game. For each of Taylor Swift's moments of elegance there are three or four painfully embarrassing moments of Miley Cyrus' teenage rebellion or Justin Bieber's immature posturing. Even here we see the actors pulling off fashion icon status though. Emma Watson is a blinding light of young talent and fashion sense.

The world of stage performance simply doesn't provide the proper tools to wow on the red carpet it seems. The more intimate life of the actor will always produce more consistent good taste, but singers will always be worth watching and talking about. Sometimes you just can't look away from a train wreck.